Have you ever wondered why you were passed up for the promotion or didn't get the job? Have you ever watched others with less experience, skill, and tact get promoted or excel as you continue to show up and put in 150%?
The breadcrumb I am addressing in this post is controlling your headspace.I showed up to my job with the best attitude during a rough period in my life. People around me had no idea I was living out of my car after the horrible separation from my then-wife. I knew that I could not bring my problems to work and that I could still take steps forward. Although I was promoted to a leadership position, I was passed up consistently for another job that would be great. After the first encounter with my bosses, boss, I got stuck in a bad headspace. I am sure you know what I am talking about.
The thought of a less qualified, less experienced person getting promoted over you because we need you where you are so we can sleep at night kind of bullshit.
I forced the imagery inside my head to see past the initial position and further into the future. I had to get unstuck from within my mind and free it so I could think creatively again. I am not going to lie to you; it was hard. I never look forward to the accountability of solely controlling what is in my head. It is alright to chew on the garbage for a moment; take a minute of pity, but then you have to get over it.Some of the ways I move passed allowing negative thoughts to stay in my head for a long time are simple. When you read, think of new ideas, apply yourself, interact with others, and never stop being you, your brain has no space for negative thoughts. I found myself listening to motivational tapes, podcasts, and inspirational books. My upper brain snaps into action, and new ideas and creativity flood my mind. It is now impossible to dwell on the bullshit as I control my mind and what I will do next.
Close your eyes and remember your younger self. The self that had not experienced the garbage that you now dwell on? Do you imagine going to your younger self and telling him or her not to bother because your effort won't work? Most of you reading this are replying, "Of course not!" Instead, you offer advice to avoid getting stuck when this happens and to move on because something better comes along. You could offer advice and share ways you have learned from your mistakes.
Now close your eyes and think of your future, successful self. What will the future, successful you offer for advice? Chances are your future self kicks you in the rear and tells you this is not your end. Your future self shows you that the temporary crap in your life is temporary. You will get through it, remove it from your head and become triumphant again.Practice giving your past self advice and receiving advice from your future, successful self often. This technique helps me see the horizon, not the stones thrown at me. The horizon helps me get off the trail where the rocks are thrown and take one that brings me to where I am going.
My future self often tells me that the new "stuff" I wanted to do (maybe a new position or promotion) was not what is needed to get me to my success in the future, filling my heart with hope and helping me focus on what I need to do.The next time you don't get the job or someone else has more success than you, practice these techniques. My hope for you is that you snap out quickly and keep looking for the horizon. The horizon with the path that leads you to the best you ever!